This Christmas....

Decisions

"A real decision is measure by the fact that you've taken a new action.  If there's no action, you haven't truly decided."
~Tony Robbins~

"My basic principle is that you don't make decisions because they are easy; you don't make them because they are cheap; you don't make them because they're popular; you make them because they're right.”
~Theodore Hesburgh~

"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.”
 ~Flora Whittemore~

        I have been in a an existentialist state for the past few months and am not seeming to snap out of it.  Not that I want to exactly snap out of it, but I have been consumed what I should do with my life.  I seem to have so much going on yet I have this feeling something is missing at times.  I have many things pulling at my heart that I feel like I am meant to do yet finances, time, etc. stands in the way.  Perhaps waiting for life to unfold is the most difficult thing. 

         I have had this conversation with several different close friends lately about how every day we are faced with countless decisions.  Each decision has the possibility of forever changing the course of our life.  We could walk past someone or we can stop and chat and form a new friend for life.  One can decide to break a law and wind up in the prison for life.  Obviously some decisions hold larger weights than others, but each decision can take our life path in a whole different direction.  It's a scary thing and perhaps it is part of becoming a full fledged adult becoming more self aware that every decision we make has positives and negatives.  No decision we make good or bad doesn't come with both negatives and positives.  What I have been struggling with is several opportunities before me.  Those opportunities I hold the ability to decide their fate.  I have weighed the positives and negatives yet I can't decide.  It is not just one thing, but many things that right now are weighing on my heart yet I can't make a decision yes or no for fear of the negatives and positives that would come from each.  Some of these decisions Brian and I are trying to work through and others are more on a personal level.  Even after praying and waiting to see how things unfold I find myself or we find ourselves stumped with what to do.  Some of these decisions are small and petty while others would surely flip our lives upside down and twist them forever....both in possibly good and bad ways.

          I do not want what I'm saying to be interpreted that I'm not happy with my life for I truly am.  I wouldn't say that unless it was true.  Brian and I are in the best imaginable place right now than we ever have been in all aspects of our lives.  Things are going so well in our home and if anything everything is flying high.  With winter approaching I expected to get those seasonal blues to pass through however it actually seems that great things are happening left and right.  I don't know if back logged Karma is kicking in or if it's Christmas season magic taking affect on our lives but things are going so well for us for the past few months.  It is because things are going so well that many of these decisions have come into our lives. 

        I never really intended on blabbering on about this.  My words are all jumbled and were not very well thought out.  This was all spoken from the heart and mind unedited.  Words just flowed as they came to me.  I am sure I'm not the only one who is a bit uneasy or unsure about making decisions.  Even decisions that seem so easy and simple can bring an abrupt change to our lives and in the end we hold the key to our own futures and that can be ever so daunting!  


"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”
 ~Eyemadreamer Keri Russell~
 
"Some choices we live not only once but a thousand times over, remembering them for the rest of our lives.”
 ~Richard Bach~

"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure , the process is its own reward.”
~Amelia Earhart~ 

Christmas Tree Excursion!

Last weekend we spent the weekend at "The Land".  Many of our weekends are spent out in the middle of nowhere land.  My parents purchased a large amount of acres and currently a weekend/getaway cabin is in process of being built.  It has been a long process but is finally taking true shape.  In the mean time we stay in campers during our weekend visits, but don't be fooled they are more like mobile homes!  Anywho's, we were out running errands with my parents, Quinn, and Mary Grace and decided we should hit up the local Christmas tree farm to find and cut down our own tree.  Beyond all the mud and the fact that there were a million and one tree's.  Most of the trees were grown too close to each other so most were ruined because the were growing literally on top of each other so were not full and often times one whole side was missing needles and growth. 


My parents found their tree and with the help of Brian to start with then Mary Grace for the big finish they chose their tree.  Don't mind the picture quality as it was an unplanned trip so I was just left with my cell phone on a terrible overcast day! 


TIMBER!!!!!!!!!!!


All by herself Mary Grace pulled the tree on the sled all the way out!


Of course that was after a few stumbles and falls! 


She kept getting back up and going!

Brian and I ended up deciding to purchase a live bulb Christmas tree that we hope will live in our house for Christmas festivities then will be able to be planted at my parents land.   We think it's a 50/50 thing if it'll live, but for the price it was comparable to the other tree's that were cut and have no chance of living!


We ended the night by going to the Christmas parade the city has every year.  This was our first year in attendance.  This was the view on the hood of the car of the "reindeer's" waiting for the parade to start up.  I just love my husband, people walked by laughing and he took every compliment and wore those reindeer's antlers (of course with bells on them!) with pride! 

The Accident

I failed to yield.

I stepped on the gas so that I would not need to stop.

I thought my right of way was more important. I thought that I had better reason for getting out front. I was traveling faster anyway. It seemed to make sense.

I assumed there would be an understanding. A mutual agreement between us.

He must have forgot.

He held pace, which was no match for mine.

We collided. Crashed. It was so painful!

Don't you know?

I assumed you understood!

You know me! You know what I want... right?

Look at this mess! Oh the pain...

I screamed these words and sobbed.

His feet were near, so on them I collapsed.

Exhausted from leaning on myself, my strength was gone.

Oh the pain and suffering from my own ways. For trying to lead myself I now suffer horrible pain.

In one last attempt, I tried to understand, You knew, right? You know me! You knew of my plans...

My wailing was silenced. He bent down and whispered...

For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. (Jeremiah 29: 11 & 12)