Seasonal Friends

"To everything there is a season" Ecclesiastes 3:1

My mom throughout life has always said that all you need in life is one best friend.  As I am getting older I am learning this is more and more true.  I would rather have a few very close friends than a boatload of acquaintances to be honest.  I have found how through different stages of life I have had a handful of friendships blossom.  From grade school, to high school, to college, and now into married adult life.  I do consider myself very blessed that from each stage in my life I have at least one very close friend I can still claim as a best friend.  So what happened to the others?  Well due to circumstances of location or life we slowly parted ways.  At times it has been disappointing when you find you are putting everything into the friendship but it takes two sides of the coin for a healthy friendship to continue to exist.  Other times looking back I find myself the guilty one for not really putting in the effort as I moved on through stages of life to keep the relationship. 

Relationships are much like plants, you can choose to water them and let them live or forget to water or purposely give up on it and let it die.  Some plants can be successfully replanted elsewhere as we move through life while others will wilt and die when trying to be transplanted.  If we are lucky with some plants we may be able to prune off dead parts that are ugly and dead looking at a later time and that plant will begin to flourish once again much like a friendship that seemed to be once lost can re-bloom.  Sometimes it is the plants fault when it dies and perishes and other times it is your carelessness....sometimes it is equal. 

As I find myself right out of college as a young, married, home-owning homemaker I am truly finding how it has separated me from many of my close friends from college.  It is always said that most of your most treasured relationships will come from college friends which is so true.  Nowhere else will you have the opportunity to live amongst multiple people as you live in your little fake bubble becoming adults to only graduate and have that bubble popped by reality of "real life".  I would not change my college experience for anything and at times I wish we were all back there with our late night life chats sitting on the pull out couch or the crazy Taco Bell and Walmart midnight runs.  Compared to college, my life has really taken it down plenty of notches in the fun department.  Many relationships from college we all swore would never die but now being 2 years out I am finding myself only in close touch with a handful of individuals.  With distance and adult jobs and responsibilities, our time to simply breathe let alone stay in touch has dwindled.  I am learning many of those college friendships have come and gone and that life goes on.  If we both aren't willing to put in the effort than it just won't last.  I have hit a point in my life where I am learning that it is ok to let go.  It is ok to realize I am putting more into a relationship than the other side and it is ok for others to have greater priorities than me and I should just continue to walk forward leaving behind the relationship in the rearview mirror.  It is ok for I am sure in some relationships I put greater priorities over them.  Those people came into my life for one reason or another during a time we needed each other and just like that we no longer need each other for whatever reason so have parted ways.   

Perhaps I am in a new season of my life.  A season of hoping to form a family which will bring another whole season of friendships.  Life is messy and I need to keep only the good friends willing to put on their rubber boots and walk through it with us.  I am blessed to have several individuals I would consider best friends who I know no matter what are there to support not only me, but Brian too.  Those individuals and I put on our rubber boots happily as we move through the murky waters of each of our lives that are far from crystal clear.  Graduations, marriages, break ups, births, miscarriages, job promotions, graduate school,  heartaches and disappointments, and moments of great celebration, we are in it through the thick and thin, the good and the not so good.  We are intertwined in each others messy lives and we are each others greatest fans.  I am blessed I can call any of those friends crying in the most depressed state and vice versa and an eyebrow is never even raised.  I truly appreciate those who mutually choose to share their celebrations and greatest disappointments with us for without one another our lives would not be the same.  Life is a battle easier fought in numbers.  Perhaps we should all invest in some waders?!?!



Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown