The Rebecca Jeanne Routine: And Then There Were Two!

When we went into fostering we specifically were approved for up to two. We had a preference for siblings after learning even sibling groups of two are generally split up between foster homes as few foster families are willing to take more than one. While there are many sibling groups with more than two children, we knew we could only take on two at once knowing we intended on expanding our family as well. When we got the placement call about baby E at first I was bummed that it was a single baby. They did mention there are two siblings but were vague with where they were. We decided to make the leap of faith and took baby E in thinking we would end up with two unrelated kids instead. The day baby E arrived at our home her social worker mentioned there is a 14 month old biological brother living with a foster grandmother locally that may be interested in placing him with us. After several weeks of being bounced around and uncertainty about him we even turned down another placement just in case he was an option, we finally got in touch with his foster grandmother. It was clear within the first 2 minutes on the phone with her that she never intended on fostering but he fell into her arms and she wanted the siblings to remain together. Her only request was that he go to a Christian family though she doesn't have real control over where he goes, but she was so happy that her prayers were answered for a church going Christian family.

We made plans the following day to get together. We arrived at her house at 10 am. N was sleeping so we talked for a little bit before we went upstairs to get him. He was in his crib and looked right up and put his arms out to be picked up. I see so much baby E in him down to the same piercing blue eyes. He took to me right away as much as a 14 month old can. He is a busy bee so always go-go-go but was willing to take a few seconds to sit on my lap and let me read him a book. His foster grandmother uses several babysitters while she works therefore we called the right personnel and got approval that we could be her alternative caregivers and do respite for her while she works. It has worked perfectly as he has transitioned so smoothly to our home. He is so easy going and honestly an easy toddler. Of course I know once he hits 2 that may be a different story :)

We took him to get his haircut and he got to experience his first sucker. You know the barber was a male because no woman would give a toddler a blue sucker! Suffice to say there was blue everywhere!

It is tentative for sometime next week that we will be having a staffing meeting to have him officially moved to our home. We have the second crib set up in the nursery and everything ready to go. It was our prayer to have siblings placed with us and I am so happy we took the leap of faith to take baby E in not knowing that N would end up with us a month later. God heard our prayers and knew in the end we would end up with siblings. We have a great relationship building with his foster grandmother and she is so happy and relieved he is coming to us. Their eldest sister is in the care of their maternal grandmother and will not be coming into care here.

As far as N goes his current custody case is different than baby E's. The county has already requested permanent custody (PC) and are having a preliminary court hearing today to get an official court date. Permanent custody means the county is going in and requesting the courts to take away parental rights. The county always has their plan towards reunification with the birth family however in this case birth mom has not completed her case plan therefore the county has changed their stance and is now working towards getting him to go PC and then adopted out.

(This past Sunday we all went pumpkin picking together with my whole family!)

So what does this mean for N? Well if the court decides he will go into PC of the county then we shall see where the case goes from there. There is a maternal grandmother out of state however it is not known at this time what her intentions are for permanency. She says one thing however if he goes PC then it is not unusual for family to change their minds when they know it will be a permanent placement.

We have been told that if N goes PC there is a slight chance baby E may go PC at the same time depending on the judge. Some judges give birth moms a chance with each of their children to work their case plan while others will terminate all at once. All we can do is wait and see how the court system will play out but it is our understanding that chances are N and baby E will both be going PC at some point and permanency will be in question however one never knows what may happen.

N gets along so well with baby E. He frequently will walk over to her and touch her face or feet. We have noticed he likes to share toys with her either by throwing them at her face or placing them by her feet so we are never too far away from the two. Being that he is 14 months old there really is no jealousy issues. Baby E frequently needs to be held and with N being a busy body only for a few minutes will he come over and want to be held too.

N has honestly bonded so quickly to us. I was expecting more grieving on his part but perhaps he is just too busy conquering the world to grieve. We are specifically looking to teach him more stranger danger as he has a tendency to go right up to anyone smiling and wanting to be held. He has an outgoing spirit, but at the same time we have to work on him bonding to us and looking to us to provide for his needs. He easily lets us hold and rock him and throughout the day he is always bringing me a book or two requesting I read it to him. He has his own little babble language but now has down dada and mama, now to get him to associate those names to us!

We are so blessed to have N with us as well as baby E. He is so much fun and such a cheeser. He is always smiling and laughing at everything, it just brightens our hearts. We can't wait for next week to make his move to our home official! At that point our home will definitely be closed to placements and all we can do is wait to see where their cases go. In the meantime, we pray that the children's best interest is upheld. It is our hope and prayer that the court system will work diligently and that they end up permanently where they are meant to go as soon as possible and are not lingering for too long in the system. With N his case has been in the works since before he was born hence why he is going PC but it is a lengthy process and we pray baby E's case will be processed quickly. As we always say, we know the Lord has great plans for both of these little ones and that we know to be true.