Holding Pattern

For those not familiar with what a holding pattern is, it is a term for usually a circular pattern flown by aircraft awaiting clearance to land at an airport.  As planes wait to land they continue to fly a certain path often over and over again waiting for their specific time to land.  Sometimes they are in a holding pattern due to an overwhelming amount of other aircraft's all trying to land at once, but there is only so many tarmac's that can be used.  Other times they may be in a holding pattern due to a problem on the ground that they have to continue to circle high up above until things can get worked out.  Another reason may be due to rough risky weather.  They will circle high up above the clouds awaiting for the nasty weather to clear up so they can finally land at their destination.  In worse case scenarios they have to turn their plane around and go back to their original departing location and wait to try to come again.

So what does aircraft holding pattern's and tarmac's have to do with anything?  Well we are currently in our own holding patterns.  We have found ourselves here many times flying in the same circular motion over and over again not getting anywhere but still unable to land.  We have left our original destination and have come so close, sometimes within eyes view of the tarmac of our destination but have not been able to land and step foot onto solid ground.  We are left floating up in the air hoping not to run out of gas!  We can look below us through the windows and see the destination we pray we will land at.  If we look hard and squint we can see people and couples already there enjoying themselves and living life while we are stuck in this holding pattern only able to be flying above and watching them in envy.  Our patience has been tested time and time again as we keep going through the holding pattern hoping we get the clearance to finally land. 

There are two questions we get asked on an almost constant basis.  Are you pregnant yet?  Are you fostering yet?  Two questions that plague almost every conversation we have with family and friends.  We are blessed to have others interested and invested in our lives.  We hold no ill feelings towards such questions and actually when asked, both remind me each time how many people we have praying for us and in our cheering section!  We know we are not in this alone and that we have others who take the time to be involved.  At the same time, often our answers are vague and have always been that we are still waiting.  When it comes to making a life as well as fostering a life there is TONS of waiting.  You get used to having to rush rush rush to depart your original place and get on the plane, you wait your flight length, then just when you think you will be landing you find yourself in a holding pattern unable to land at your destination and it is all out of your control. 

Becoming foster parents has been a journey we have set out on since January of this year.  It has been almost 7 months mostly filled with waiting.  Every class, every phone call, every home visit, every document has brought us that much closer to our destination of being certified.  We have been in the final holding pattern for quite a few weeks now.  We were told everything has been submitted for state approval which can take up to 8 weeks.  8 weeks really means nothing to us as we have no specific deadline date able to be given so it may be less or more depending on how long the state is taking to process.  We are not the only ones flying high up above the tarmac so we have to wait our turn for us to be processed and given clearance to land.  We were called once by our social worker about 3 weeks ago as the state wanted clarification on a few simple things that our social worker had not included in our home study (date when we were engaged etc.).  To be honest we are just taking our seats and sitting in this circular holding pattern of waiting unsure of when we will get the call that we have been approved.  Once we are approved we will be able to land but before we can leave the airport we will have to have one more training course (only one Saturday for a few hours) but right after they will let us go out and start our adventure in this new location of our lives.  We will start receiving calls of different excursions of children needing placements and will decide which ones we will embark on. 

Having a baby has had us in a much longer holding pattern, over 2 years to be exact.  Not only have we been in this holding pattern, but at the end of each month we have had to return to our original place of departure to wait out our next flight.  Sometimes that next flight has come back to back months and others we have had to take off several months and wait for the next opportunity to fly again.  We have boarded different planes that have given us different medical protocols but thus far all planes have had to return to our departed locations for us to wait out the next plane.  Flying with insurance has made it possible to go on so many trips however all the deductibles and fee's we pay out of pocket have added up to be quite costly too.  One plane a year ago landed on the tarmac but was not able to stay so our original joy of finally landing was soon turned into anguish and defeat as we returned right back to where we had come from.  That plane caused us to have to go through two medical procedures in order to fix the plane a few months spaced out from each other so it can take off again yet left us unable to fly for months on end.  We are currently thousands of miles up in the air on our current flight and have gotten to where we want to be but are in the holding pattern high above the tarmac.  The tarmac is once again in very close sight and we pray as we always do that in the coming weeks our circling holding pattern will be ended and we will be able to land for a second time, but this time to stay the whole duration.